Dynamist Blog

MARRIAGE STAKES

In response to this earlier posting called "Gay Marriage and Third-Party Response," I received this email:

My name is Michael Demmons and, like yourself, I write a blog. I recently linked to your site via Independent Gay Forum. I have to say that I am very happy to have stopped by. I am a Canadian who works in the United States. I am also gay. My partner and I went to Ottawa, Canada a couple weeks ago and got married--legally married. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I met Robert three years ago and we have been together ever since.

One of the things that keeps me awake at night is that I am here on a temporary work visa. It matters not whether Robert and I are married. If I lose my job, I have ten days to pack and leave the country. No questions asked. No choices. I leave my house, my life, my husband. Robert would have to stay here initially to ensure that everything got straightened out. Presumably, he would attempt to find a job in Canada and move there. However, with the currency exchange rate between our two countries, it is much more advantageous for him to stay here, at least for awhile, to pay off his student loans in USD$$.

I want you to know that I appreciate your opinions on the subject, and I'm glad that someone of your popularity and "straight" orientation is not afraid to espouse them. Hopefully, marriage will become an "equal opportunity" institution here in the United States and I will not have to pack and go on short notice some day.

A government-recognized secular "family registry" of the sort proposed by blogger Bill Ernoehazy in this reaction to the Massachusetts decision would also solve the problem. But I think we'll get gay marriage long before we get legal recognition of families as matters of contract rather than status.

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